


Punctuation While Texting is Important  or The Foibles of Technology

by Anunkindraven



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Funny bit of crack, M/M, but it can also get you a boyfriend, technology can be you enemy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-13
Updated: 2012-11-27
Packaged: 2017-11-18 14:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anunkindraven/pseuds/Anunkindraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of how Derek and Stiles got together, came out to their friends and the Sheriff and others as a result of defective use of technology.</p><p>It's just fluffy fun and a whole lot of embarrassment for all involved!  It eventually includes a cherry popping party.</p><p>Excerpt from the first Chapter:</p><p>Stiles looked at the message again. Yup, it definitely said "I want you". His heart raced a little and the tips of his ears got a little red. If his mouth was dry, who could blame him right? That the statement alone got him semi erect, well that was no one's fault. I mean he was a teenage boy and someone just said those magic words. Well, texted them, but that totally counts in this generation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Punctuation While Texting is Important

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! My Name is Raven and I'll be taking you on this crazy bumpy ride! I really hope you enjoy it.
> 
> This fic is posted over in FanFiction, if you are deperate to see more, but I hope you will be patient and read it here because I am trying to clean up my errors on this version.
> 
> It's Unbeta'd and my first fic being posted on here, so please be kind.
> 
> I don't mind helpful and gentle help with fixing mistakes, but please don't give lectures on grammar.

**To: Stiles**

**From: Derek**

I want you

Stiles looked at the message again. Yup, it definitely said "I want you". His heart raced a little and the tips of his ears got a little red. If his mouth was dry, who could blame him right? That the statement alone got him semi erect, well that was no one's fault. I mean he was a teenage boy and someone just said those magic words. Well, texted them, but that totally counts in this generation.

Stiles is actually in the locker room as lacrosse practice having just finished. He surreptitiously looks around to see if anyone is watching before checking the message again. God, okay his heart is like beating super fast. So does he bring the lube and condoms or is Derek supposed to supply them? He is so concentrated on the thoughts rambling through his head he didn't notice when Scott snuck up on him. 

"What you staring at so hard? Contemplating sending Lydia a text message?" Scott says scaring Stiles.  So of course Stiles jumped at the sound and managed somehow to throw his phone at the wall.

"Scott! Damn it! What have I said about sneaking up on me. If that's broken you are so paying for a new one." Stile's practically yells. He notices that Scott looks halfway between ashamed and laughing. The other boys in the locker room have no such compunction. They are just flat out laughing at him. 

"Guilty conscience much." Jackson says as he steps on the remnants of Stiles' phone on the way out.

"Like what the fuck Jackson, that might have been salvageable." Stiles feels compelled to say. Really he knew when the phone hit the wall there was no hope for it after all it broke up into at least 20 pieces. He just really hoped that the sim card was still functioning. He had saved all of Derek's text messages (not that there were many) on it, including that all important last one. Scott starts handing him the pieces looking all apologetic, one of them looks like an intact sim card.

"Didn't your dad get that warranty plan for your phone?" Scott asks. 

"Yeah.  Stiles answers. "You're still waiting in line with me to get a new one though, and you owe me two days worth of curly fries , and you owe me a date night with like no mention of Alison." He feels totally justified with that last one.

Scott looks at his own phone and says "Well, I could hang out tonight..." 

Stiles panics and then calms himself quickly thinking werewolf...werewolf.. heart lying thing. "Well I kinda have plans..." He says to Scott.

Fortunately Scott's face lights up at some text from Allison just then, so he doesn't notice that Stiles hasn't said with whom. "Cool, so later then right? We can like do the phone tomorrow or something?" Scott says this halfway out the door. 

"Yeah, we'll talk tomorrow" Stiles agrees.

"Uh hey quick question?" He asks Danny as the boy passes him on the way to the door. 

Danny rolls his eyes at him "I'm not answering anymore of your am I cute to gay guys questions Stiles." 

"No, it's not that. Well, not really. I mean if a guy sends you a text that says he wants you, then he's got to find you cute right?" He looks at Danny and catches the boy's nod before continuing "So..that's kinda a booty call right? I mean if a guy says he wants you doesn't it mean come over? And if it does, do you like bring the you know lube and stuff?"

Danny looks at him and sits down on the nearest bench. "So you and this guy ever do anything before?" Danny asks, his voice serious. 

Stiles shakes his head no. "Well, I mean he has like brushed up against me like a lot and he's like always like finding reasons to touch me? And like yesterday he pushed me up against a wall and we kinda had this moment? Well, I wasn't certain at the time that it wasn't you know one sided? And I'm not certain if he caught that I was getting a stiffy, but then the message so?" Danny has been nodding his head as Stiles has been talking so, he's not feeling like he's a freak for feeling so hesitant and confused.

"I'd say that he's definitely hot for you. So why not go for it. I mean you show up and maybe nature takes it course. I'd bring the lube and condoms, because it's always better to be safe than sorry or not to be able to follow through for lack of preplanning. Yeah, I'd take it as a booty call. And hey if it wasn't you turn it into one."

As Danny talked all Stiles could think about was that he could totally do this. Just show up and Derek's and say "I want you too" or maybe just try to kiss him. "Cool, great...thanks Danny." 

Danny shakes his head at him "No problems. Just make sure to shower! And wear something like tight."

"Shower and tight...I can totally do that." Stiles says with a happy grin.

A very rushed hour later Stiles is showered, dressed and teeth brushed. His Dad had already left for the station, so he didn't have to make up any excuse about why he was leaving the house. He'd been careful in the shower not to use too much scent and had bypassed the cologne for deodorant. Breathe check one more time, pocket the keys, wallet check, and lube/condom check. Okay so he's got everything. Stiles jumps into his car and throws on what he considers to be sexy tunes that he can get hyped up to. Singing along to the music, Stiles does his best not to think at all. He doesn't want to be too panicked to follow through on the rest of the night and preplanning too much just ruins the spontaneity or so he's heard. God he hopes Isaac isn't there, or better yet, he hopes creepy Uncle Peter isn't there. There are just some people that you don't want to be listening in while you lose your virginity. _Oh my god...I am losing my virginity!_ Okay stop thinking about it just sing along to the song...

Stiles is totally not certain how he got himself safely to Derek's house given the number of times his mind slipped away from the music to thinking about sex. He totally has wood, but that's got to be a good thing right? So figuring that there is no way he's going to be able to sneak in, werewolf hearing and all, (and besides he's kind of invited right?) Stiles just walks in the front door.

Of course Derek just kinda looms over him, backing him into the door the second he closes it behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Derek demands his frowny face in place.   

Stiles swallows hard. "Well, you said you wanted..."

Before he could finish Derek interrupted him "Good you got my message." 

"Yup, definitely...loud and clear.." Stiles answered him.

"So..." Derek asks him looking expectantly. 

Oh Jesus, does that mean he's expecting me to take the first step? Well I suppose technically Derek already did by texting me, so maybe now it was Stiles' turn to reciprocate? It's moments like this where Stiles wished the term pocket bear really mean a teeny tiny gay man that he could pull out of his pocket to ask for advice. So thinking of Danny's advice and Derek's increasingly frustrated face, Stiles slaps his hands on either side of Derek's face and just plants one on him. He knows it's totally not skilled, but enthusiasm has to count for something, right?

Two seconds later he's shoved away rather violently, his head hitting the door. "What the fuck Stiles?" Derek says with a growl.

"Uhmmm well...uh..I want you too?" Stiles can't seem to stop the words from coming out even though he has this sinking feeling that something just isn't right. "I mean you sent me that text?"

"Yeah, that I want you to do some research for me."  Derek growls.

Oh crap. Shit. How did he get this so wrong..I mean the message just said I want you? Stiles could feel the humiliation begin to burn in his gut. His face was flushed red and he couldn't take his eyes off of the floor. "Ok...so I'll just be going now. But you know, next time, punctuation and texting entire sentences in one text, not two! " He says as he tries to get the door open behind him while wiggling away from Derek.

Derek leans in and shoves the door closed, crowding Stiles back against it. God as if this wasn't humiliating enough already. Stiles keeps his head down and neck bent slightly in a submissive non threatening way. He just didn't want Derek to get it in his head to scare the shit out of him to get him to back off. "Okay, look I get it. Typing error thing. Scott broke my phone before I got the rest of you texts. It's cool . It's just my mistake. Hahahaha funny right stupid kid thinking the totally hot older guy digs him. But it's great, I'm used to no. I do no really really well. So it totally won't even be remotely awkward at like pack meetings and stuff." Stiles hastily assures Derek.

"Who said I'm saying no." Derek growls in his ear.

"Uhmmm you shoved me?" Stiles offers hesitantly.

"You think that's hot." Derek replies.

Stiles flushes red again this time partially embarrassed and partially aroused. His heart foolishly charges ahead again with renewed hope. "So, Danny was right? Even though it wasn't a booty call, I can turn it into one?" If his voice squeaked at the end of that question, well that was between him and Derek. Stiles see's Derek's eyes flash before his mouth is consumed by Derek's. When Stiles was sufficiently floating on what must be the metaphorical cloud nine he vaguely hears Derek growl in his ear "Yes."

Needless to say, Derek is very careful texting after that with everyone but Stiles. Stiles occasionally get these texts that leave him hanging. For example he got one just this morning on his way to school.

**To: Stiles**

**From Derek**

I want you to come

When Stiles gets messages like this? Well he just takes it as an open invitation to show up and seduce his boyfriend all over again.


	2. Awkotacco Check Ur Digits

**To: Stiles**

**From: Dad's Cell**

_Uhmmm Stiles. I think we need to talk when I get home. What the hell is a bb and who the hell are you sending texts like that to? Also 3?_

_Dad_

 

Shit, shit shit. Was all Stiles could think.  He had sent his Dad some texts that day, but nothing that would elicit this kind of response.  What text had he sent to his dad then? Stiles quickly pulled up his texting history to see which of the embarrassing, but totally sexy (seriously he was way good a at this sexting thing) texts he had sent out to Derek today that might have accidentally been sent to his Dad. He finds it right quick. Yup, he had totally sexted his Dad today. New level of "embarrassing" which will lead to a whole new level of awkward discussions with his dad. Jesus, how his life so awkotacco.

The contents of said texts were as follows:

**To: Dad Cell**

**From: Stiles**

_BB, U so hawt. I can't believe u came to skool w/lunch. Creeper. Dad not home this pm, so pull a window creeper. K?_

_< 3 <3<3_

**To: Dad Cell**

**From: Stiles**

_Get your mind out of the gutter dirrrrrty old man, you're not rounding third. ;)_

 

So it was bad. Not one message, but two. How the hell did he manage to send those messages to his dad instead of Derek? How was he going to deal with this? He could play the first text off by saying that he was talking to Scott about doing a movie night like maybe? Stiles makes a few faces before concluding that maybe, just maybe he can pull that one off.  Could he try for the second being about a baseball video game? Does either Scott or he have a baseball video game? Does it really matter?  His dad really doesn't pay that much attention though their games right? Huffing out a breath Stiles decides that he's got this. He might be grounded but no sex talk, so bonus.

Calmer now, he double checks his texts to his Dad (just to be sure there were no more suprises and realizes that the texts he had meant to send his Dad weren't there. Shit did he send those to Derek? Ohhhhhh crap.

**To: Derek**

**From: Stiles**

_You need to watch what you eat! No more fatty foods for you. I'm watching you._

What to do when you call your super hot werewolf boyfriend fat and call your dad a dirrrty old man. The only answer Stiles can find is to bang his head on his desk repeatedly and ask Danny if he could create him a new identity so he could move to somewhere like Paraguay.


	3. Complicated Boyfriends and Facebook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles needs to remember to check his spelling. The dangers of Facebook. Why does facebook only let you pick male or female as your choice of partner...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf. I wish I did, then I'd have men half naked running around my house all the time. Instead you all get my stories.

Stiles has gotten weird looks all day from other students, the staff, teachers and even pack. Now he's used to getting a few "You're weird" looks in a day, I mean he's special (not eating paste special, just I'm awesome special), but the entire school?! It started with Danny saying to him "Way to put it out there." To which he had just been like "Yeah cool", 'cause he had no clue what Danny was talking about.

Then there was Jackson glowering at him before shoving him against a locker "You'd better not be taking the piss." (Whatever that means) He even went into the bathroom and did a totally graceful check of his back to make certain he didn't have a loser sign taped to his back. Wouldn't be the first time that Jackson had done that to him, but no, nothing was there. In retrospect, he probably should have just taken off his hoodie and cheked that way, because Isaac cought him doing totally gracefull spinns while trying to see his back in the mirror and had laughed at him.  Then Isaac had said that Stiles seemed like a wolf chasing his tail.  Or something like that, he kinda mumbled and he could have said that Stiles was chasing tail, but that hadn't made sense.

So finally it was lunch and he could ask Scott what was up. I mean the dude is his best friend, he had to tell him. "Dude! What is up with everyone?" Stiles asked as he slide his plate of mostly Tater Tots onto the table beside Scott. 

"Did you and Derek break up?" He gets asked by Scott in a whisper.

"What!!!! No! Did he tell you we did? What what?" Stiles had to try to reign his voice in as to not draw too much attention.  He had spit the tatter totts in his mouth out during his exclamations.   He and Derek had told the pack about being together, but were on the qt with everyone else.  Well it wasn't so much telling them as being caught out, but that is a tale for another day.

"No, Derek didn't say anything. It's your status? On facebook. You went from "dating" to "it's complicated" and then you kinda seemed like you outed yourself as looking for a new boyfriend." Scott sounded hesitant.

"I what!" He couldn't help himself that time. He actually yelled. "I did not! Okay yes I changed my relationship status to it's complicated. But it is. I mean Derek. You know, Derek! And issues and they only give you two options you know guy/girl. There's no werewolf option (he says that in practically a whisper, but with finger quotes). But I never, ever posted anything about looking for a boyfriend."

He pulls up his cell and opens the fb app. Sure enough sitting on his timeline was his change in status and the following:

**Stiles "the man" Stilinski:**

_Hey you gays ! ;)_

 

"Guys, it's meant to say guys! Come on." He says to Scott practically hitting Scott in the face because his hands are flapping so much "Remember, Goonies was on yesterday! Heeeeey you guys is a classic quote."

"Huh" Scott says, "Well, it's kinda gone around the school. People are asking if your gay? I said kinda."

Suddenly everything that everyone had said to him all day made so much more sense. "Shit! Even Isaac thinks I'm trying to chase tail. God, I better go call Derek.


	4. Phone Media Can Get Your Friends Killed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek is a grumpy pants. He's had all day to play around with Stiles' phone and he doesn't like what he sees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf or it's characters. That is obvious otherwise I would be making money writing scripts and not writing here for free! :)

So Derek has been kind of pissy since Stiles had arrived at the Hale house after school. A total Sourwolf, but one didn't want to over use that word. It had to be pulled out in limited certain circumstances, even though really? He was one everyday. Well, except last night, cause then he was just hawt and sexy and all kissing upin Stiles' grill. *Sighs* Which of course Stiles does outloud and not just in his head like he intended.

And for some reason that garners even more of a eyebrow frown from said hot boyfriend.

"Is this about the texting fiasco?" He finally had to ask, the silence killing him.  "You know I apologised about that.  I tots meant to call my Dad fat not you."

"No." Was the growled answer he got back.

"Uhhhh the facebook thing? You said you got it. You can't take it back! We bonded over our mutual love of 80's movies." Derek rolls his eyes, but goes back to frowning so Stiles knows that's not it. It's not like it could have been much else. "Dude, I totally switched my status update to "In a relationship" I even put your photo like you asked so that everyone knows that I'm _yours_ " Stiles tries.  That one gets a tiny smirk. Of course it does. I mean so much for keeping their relationship private. Stiles get one little pm from some pervy old man and Derek gets all jealous and wigged out. (Okay, it was more like 5 pervy old men, but still.) Thank GOD his Dad doesn't know what facebook is and all his deputies are like over 30 so his status update is safe.

And since Derek wanted to go all "how to catch a predator" on those pm'ers asses Stiles had left his phone with Derek all day. Better to let Derek deal with it then having him being all jealous.  Also it meant little chance of Stiles getting himself into anymore technological trouble. No phone, means no texts, no facebook equals no problems. Sure, okay so he tripped over his own feet, but falling on his face was normal and Derek usually thinks it's adorkable.

"Your not still pissed about me outing us to the pack right? I mean their all cool with it and that was like a week ago??" He knows his voice sounds hesitant, but yeah the truth is that they didn't decide so much to "tell the pack" as Stiles and his phone starred in the **Phone Strikes Back**. Stiles is so writting that script.  Derek just shakes head at him though.

"So am I getting my phone back? I need to text my Dad about dinner." Stiles says trying to change the subject.

"No!" Again with the growling. "Jesus Derek, I haven't had my phone all day. I need to call my Dad if I'm staying here for dinner." Stiles knows there is a hint of a whine in his voice, but he doesn't care.  He just wants his phone back.  Being without it all day was kind of cruel and unusual punishment.

"Fine you can have it back when you explain why you have a naked photo thing of Scott on your phone." Derek growls.

"What?! " Stiles is choking he's laughing so hard. "I so do not have photos of Scott naked!"

"You do. Here." Derek thrusts the phone at Stiles and Stiles can see that he's in the media files of his phone under the videos. He clicks the highlighted one and sure enough there's a naked (pantless) Scott running about like an idiot.

Stiles can't help the snort that comes out while watching the video. "Derek, seriously? It's Scott. So NOT sexy. He's being a drunken idiot. It's for future black mail."

He sits on Derek's lap and wraps his arms around Derek's neck. "Scott's my best friend. There have been no sexy times between us. It's just that I'm so totally the best friend that becomes the best man! I get to make the Best man's toast, you know? A little bit of funny, a little bit of embarrassment for the groom and then all the lovey dovey stuff. So that's part of the humiliation." He says pointing to the video frozen on his phones screen. "That and this." Stiles fiddles around with the phone a bit before finding the right MP3. He laughs at the face Derek makes while they listen to Scott sing about being the wind beneath your wings. "See right?! I'm going to be the best Best Man ever." 


	5. How Ringtones do speak to the masses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does your ringtone say about you? Or what does your choice of ringtone say about your boyfriend? It's hard to keep your werewolf boyfriend a secret when you like to play around with your ringtones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf or it's characters. If I did, Sterek would happen.

Everyone knows that Stiles loves the personal ringtone options on his phone. He is constantly picking songs to go with people and how he's feeling about them at any given time.

Everyone knows that Scott's ringtone is _Only Girl in The World_ by Rhianna (especially when he wont stop talking about Allison). That Lydia's is _Starry Eyed_ by Ellie Goulding and that it used to be Justin Timberlake's _Damn Girl_ , but that changed after the whole Jackson/Kanima thing, that Erica's is _Good Girls Go Bad_ by Cobra Starships and that Isaac gets _I See You_ by Mika.

Picking Derek's out when they first had to deal with him was something Stileshad talked about with Scott endlessly before settling on the funeral dirge. You know, the one that goes duh duh da duh duh. It's a pithy commentary. It spoke to how every time Derek called basically Stiles ended up putting his life on the line. It also had that element of stalkerish tone to it. It was perfect. Of course it becomes not so perfect when you start secretly dating the guy, so Stiles of course had picked out a new song.

So at lunch hanging out with the gang his phone starts blasting:

_I'll take you to the candy shop_

_I'll let you lick the lollipop_

_Go 'head girl, don't you stop_

_Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)_

_Girl what we do (What we do)_

_And where we do (and where we do)_

_The things we do (things we do)_

_Are just between me and you (oh yeah)_

And of course the phone is in his pocket and he's not coordinated enough to get it out before everyone picked up the ringtone. Not wanting anyone to know it was Derek, he just hit ignore and tried to look all casual. Like, he hadn't reaked out or anything.

"So, that thing with the guy worked out then?" Danny asks.  Cause Danny's a nice guy, but at this moment not really and all Stiles wants to do it hit him.

"Thing with a guy? No idea what you're talking about Dan my man" Stiles says while frantically trying to give Danny the eye. You know, the one that says shut up. Of course Danny just ignores him.

"Text guy. The 'I want you guy'? Or girl. I'm assuming guy though with the lollipop reference...and the questions.." Danny trails off finally catching Stiles' frantic look and everyone else's surprised faces. "Oh shit. I mean that guy you were trying to hook me up with..." Danny adds hastily trying to cover up his error in outing Stiles.

"Some guy texted he wanted you?" Scott asks "And that is a new ringtone. Dude are we or aren't we best buds?  You're not telling me about shit now?"

"Fine since apparently we're family and sharing is caring...and Danny is an ass...I may like a guy." Stiles huffs out.  He has to wait before continuing because of the girly squeals from Lydia, Erica and Allison. "The 'I want you' was a misunderstanding. So just...leave it alone." Of course his phone chooses to go off again just then. This time because it's already in his hand all that got out was:

_I'll take you to the candy shop_

_I'll let you lick the lollipop_

 

"But this guy you like is calling you and texting you. That's his ringtone right." Boyd (ever the logical Boyd and so not his favourite today) asks.  "So, maybe he likes you back?  Why else would he call you?"

"Whatevers. Just leave it alone." Stile says. "Stiles has a new crush, just whatever."  Once again he has to dismiss the phone call coming in as he adds. "Come on lunch is almost over, can we talk about someone else's nonexistent love life?"

Isaac's phone rings and he answers. "Uh hey Derek. Yeah, Stiles is here. Sure everything's fine, we're just at lunch why?" Isaac's eyes get extra big and puppy doggy at the answer. He and all the other werewolves at the table alternate between looks of horror, fascination and awe while they all just stare at Stiles. "Sure, I'll tell him." Isaac says before hanging up his phone. "Uhh Stiles? Derek says not to ignore his calls...that he just tried calling you three times, cause he needs you to do some research."

Stiles can feel the panicked laughter rising from his chest and his face going redder than he had ever felt it before. "Ok, I'm just going to go call Derek and get right on that." Getting up from the table he grabbed his bag and practically ran from the table and his friends, but not before hearing Jackson (the douche) saying "Yeah, we got the idea that you wanna 'get on that' Stilinski, but good luck!"

All Stiles can think is how he has got to get this situation turned around so it's all Derek's fault that everyone now knows how bad he wants the Alpha. At least they don't know yet that the Alpha wants him back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And all I can say about that is that there is a part 2 as there is more of the relationship to be outed. Derek is technically still in the proverbial closet.


	6. The Slow Reveal Ringtone Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Derek is outed by his ringtones. It's all Stiles' fault since he's the one doing all the music choices. Very fluffy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own teen wolf. Other very lucky people do.

So Stiles is feeling all loved up by his wolfman. Since he can't say the words or text them or stuff yet (it’s too soon for that), he resorts to what every teenage boy does. Pulling Derek’s figurative ponytails or in this case, changing Derek's ringtone.

Sure, the two of them spend a lot of time texting each other during the day, but they usually don't call each other until night time, you know for sexy phone call time. Which if he's honest mostly consists of his telling Derek everything that happened that day (like he hadn't mentioned most of it in his texts) and Derek listening and Stiles moaning about not being able to hang out and having sexy time and trying to figure out when they will be able to see each other next. Eventually Derek just comes over and climbs into bed with him and hangs up Stiles’ phone and they have cuddles.

But yeah, back to the ponytail pulling. Every night Stiles changes Derek's ringtone for him so that it's a surprise the next day. He figures it's kind of the equivalent of sticking a note saying “I love you” or “have a nice day” in your kid's lunch or your hubby's briefcase.

So the first time he does it he sets his profile on Derek’s phone to "I'm too sexy for my shirt." Cause it was the first time Derek had taken Stiles' top off and had left him covered with hickeys. And really, for the first time he didn't feel like the scrawny ugly duckling. Derek had made him feel sexy. He was totally going to own those hickeys tomorrow, whilst simultaneously hiding them from the world under his shirt. He knew Derek thought it was hot, because the next night he didn't say anything about the ringtone, but he definitely paid some close attention to Stile's chest.

And the night before the full moon, knowing that "the pack" was going all “wolves only” into the woods the next day he changed it to **_Who Let the Dogs Out_** by Baha Men. It was totally funny! Derek was not amused, but he didn't say to stop either.

There was that day where it had just seemed like everything had gone right. Derek had answer all of his texts, no matter how random the point. He'd actually talked on the phone instead of grunting and when he fell asleep Stiles swore he heard Derek say he missed him too, so what else was a guy to do? He had to express his feels, so T. Swift's Fairytale became Derek's next ringtone. How awesome are those lyrics

" _It must have been the way,_

_Today was a fairytale, It must have been the way,_

_Today was a fairytale,_

_Today was a fairytale,_

_You've got a smile that takes me to another planet,_

_Every move you make, everything you say is right,_

_Today is a fairytale.”_

And there was that night when Derek had been feeling a little frustrated, because Stiles had had to say no to anything other than just sleeping. When a guy has two tests and a lacrosse game the next day, there is so not going to be any sexy time. And to clarify, sexy time had not yet included actual sex, cause apparently his ass was waiting a few months until he was technically legal. Read eye rolling here.  So to let Derek know he was all down for sexy time the next night the ringtone of the next day was **_Rude Boy_** by Rihanna.

" _Come here, rude boy, boy; can you get it up?_

_Come here rude boy, boy; is you big enough?_

_Take it, take it baby, baby_

_Take it, take it; love me, love me, love me, love me,_

_Tonight I'm a let you be the captain_

_Tonight I'm a let you do your thing, yeah_

_Tonight I'm a let you be a rider_

_Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up babe_

_Tonight I'm a let it be fire_

_Tonight I'm a let you take me higher_

_Tonight, baby, we could get it on, yeah, we could get it on, yeah"._

 

Apparently lyrics like this are catnip for werewolf boyfriends and totally get you blown. Another song that gets you hot werewolf lovin? **_Whatever You Like_** by T.I.

 

Then there was that time where Stiles had challenged Derek's decision in front of everyone and seriously pissed Derek off, enough that he did that wolfy shoving him back into a wall thing. Only the wall hadn't been quite so solid and Stiles kinda ended up going ass over tea kettle through the wall. No injuries except to his pride, but he saw Derek's face. The flash of upset, anger and disgust which were all self-directed. At the end of the meeting Stiles had had to drive Scott home, so he couldn't call Derek until he was back on the road heading home. He kept it simple. He told Derek his ass had better be at Stiles’ house asap or Stiles was going to chase him down. Derek had been really surprised Stiles had wanted anything to do with him. He'd expected to have his ass handed to him. So Stiles had told him it would take a lot before he broke up with him, the he was a Stalinski and they tended to stick and that he was human and might sometimes make mistakes himself and Derek needed to have more faith. So naturally the song he chose that night? Was **_Faith_** by TakingBackSunday.

I mean with lyrics like:

" _You could lose your faith in music,_

_Or lose your faith in friends,_

_You could lose your faith in freedom,_

_Feel trapped in your own skin,_

_But I'll be right there beside you,_

_(I'll be right there beside you),_

_When the walls are cavin' in,_

_(I swear oh I'm not going anywhere),_

_But when I let you down,_

_Look past your doubt,_

_Just please (please),_

_Don't lose your faith in me,_

_Please (please),_

_Don't lose your faith in me_."

how could you go wrong. And he left that one for a few days, cause it was something Derek needed to hear.

There was that one time where they had a stupid fight and Stiles still thought it was Derek's fault and even though they had made up, he still wasn't quite over it. So of course the song he picked was Maroon 5's **_One More Night_**. Because seriously sometimes that song just spoke about their whole relationship! 

_You and I go hard, at each other like we going to war_

_You and I go rough, we keep throwing things and slammin' the door,_

_You and I get so, damn dysfunctional we stopped keeping score,_

_You and I get sick, yah_

_I know that we can't do this no more,_

_But baby there you again, there you again making me love you  
Yeah I stopped using my head, using my head let it all go, _

_Got you stuck on my body, on my body like a tattoo,_

_And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid crawling back to you_  
So I cross my heart, and I hope to die, that I'll only stay with you one more night  
And I know I said it a million times, 

_But I'll only stay with you one more night."_  

He actually caught Derek humming that song while making the popcorn for the movie that night. Derek's voice? Gravelly and hot. Just saying.

And on the anniversary of Laura's death, he thinks that the only reason that Derek lets him hold him that night is because he programmed Gotye's **_Hearts A Mess_** in Derek's phone the night before. It was like it had been written for Derek. 

_You have lost, Too much love,_

_To fear, doubt and distrust,_

_Its not enough,_

_You just threw away the key,_

_To your heart,_

_You don't get burned_

_Cause nothing gets through,_

_It makes it easier,_

_Easier on you,_

_But that much more difficult for me,_

_To make you see,_

_Love ain't fair,_

_So there you are,_

_My love,_

_Your heart's a mess,_

_You won't admit to it,_

_It makes no sense,_

_But I'm desperate to connect,_

_And you, you can't live like this._

So of course the pack has been noticing that Derek has very Stilesized ringtones. I mean, this is Derek! No way would that guy ever pick Taylor Swift to be his ringtone never mind Rihanna. The guy was old. He'd like listen to something like old stuff. At least that was the consensus. But they never saw Stiles anywhere NEAR Derek's phone. And Derek never really seemed pissed about it. Not really. He kinda even snorted when the **_Who Let the Dogs Out_** played. And there was the day his ringtone was **_Firework_** by Katy Perry and **_Arms_** by Christina Perri.  There was no way Derek would have picked either of those.  The music was definitely Stiles’ taste.

So they all agreed, they were going to watch Stiles to see how it was that he was doing this. Cause whatever he was doing, it was making the Alpha well less grumpy instead of more grumpy. It was like Stiles was pulling a reverse prank.  Lydia just laughed at all of them and called them idiots, but she wouldn't explain why. She did give Stiles and Derek very knowing looks at the next pack meeting, which they guys just ignored.

So that day when Stiles was humming Natasha Bedingfield's **Pocketful of Sunshine** in the morning and then it turned out to be Derek's new ringtone of the day raised suspicions. Because if Stiles was singing the song in the morning and it was programmed before Stiles arrived at the meeting, and Stiles was in school all day and had no interactions with Derek, then when did he have time to change it? After that Jackson, Boyd, Danny and Erica all began smirking at the other's continued confusion.

So, how did the others reluctantly finally realize that Derek was into Stiles? Well, it was the day that Katy Perry's **_Teenage Dream_** started playing on Stiles' phone:

_Before you met me_

_I was alright but things_

_Were kinda heavy_

_You brought me to life_

_Now every February_

_You'll be my Valentine, Valentine_

_Let's go all the way tonight_

_No regrets, just love_

_We can dance, until we die_

_You and I, will be young forever_

_You make me feel_

_Like I'm livin' a_

_Teenage dream_

_The way you turn me on_

_I can't sleep_

_Let's run away and_

_Don't ever look back,_

_Don't ever look back_

_My heart stops_

_When you look at me_

_Just one touch_

_Now baby I believe_

This shocked look appeared on Stiles' face before it turned beet red and then a soft smile appeared and Stiles heart literally skipping a beat. He walked away from the others pulling his phone out to answer it. Waiting until he was around the corner before answering "Hey Derek, love the ringtone...", but the proverbial cat was out of the bag because of werewolf hearing. Derek must have changed Stiles’ ringtone and that could only have happened if Derek had seen Stiles the night before.  Stiles took  it as an acknowledgement of their relationship. That night at the pack meeting was the first time Derek kissed Stiles goodnight while the others were around. Sure, it was in the shadows and away from prying eyes (supposedly), but it was awesome!


	7. Faces Make Everything Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek and Stiles fight at least they think they have.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen wolf or it's characters. No one who did would write this kind of Fic Lol.

So, Stiles learns the importance of using emoticons with grunting monosyllabic and acerbic werewolf boyfriend, but only after having to go through a three hour fight over what amounted to nothing.

Here is the conversation that he thought they had:

**Stiles** : Derek, my Dad's going to home tonight and I wanna hang out with him, plus lacrosse tomorrow. So catch tomorrow? Maybe you can creeper at the game.

**Derek** : Can't make it tomorrow. Something came up I'm not a creeper

**Stiles** : I see.

       **Derek:** Don't be that way. Sometimes I have to prioritize.

**Stiles** : Are you saying I don't prioritize or that I'm not a priority?

**Derek** : I didn't say either.

**Stiles** : ...

**Stiles** : You were implying something.

**Derek** : Look all I said is you want to hang with your dad fine, but I have something on tomorrow.

**Stiles** : Okay fine I got it. Message sent and received.

**Derek** : Tomorrow night, after.

**Stiles** : Sorry busy prioritizing.

**Derek** : Seriously?!

 

So of course he was pissed and snippy and angry even though at least HE had tried to keep his texts light an fluffy. only it turns out he didn't do such a good job at that wither, because when he went to yell at Derek, Derek yelled right back. It turns out they were both having semi flirty/fluffy conversations. Which they would have known, if they had just used Emoticons. You know how it is when you think you have said something, but it turns out the other person "read emotions" into it that weren't there. That just soooooo happened here.

It turns out that the conversation that they were actually having went more like this:

**Stiles** : Derek, my Dad's going to home tonight and I wanna hang out with him, plus lacrosse tomorrow (flex). So catch tomorrow? :* Maybe you can creeper at the game. (inlove)

**Derek** : Can't make it tomorrow. Something came up L I'm not a creeper (ninja)

**Stiles** : I see. :^) :$

**Derek** : Don't be that way. Sometimes I have to prioritize. (hugs)

**Stiles** : Are you saying I don't prioritize or that I'm not a priority? (nerd)

**Derek** : I didn't say either. (emo)

**Stiles** : ... (wait)

**Stiles** : You were implying something. :P

**Derek** : Look all I said is you want to hang with your dad fine, but I have something on tomorrow. :x ;)

**Stiles** : Okay fine I got it. Message sent and received. (doh)

**Derek** : Tomorrow night, after. (smirk)

**Stiles** : Sorry busy prioritizing. (lalala)

**Derek** : Seriously?! ]:) (smirk)

 

So, Stiles teaches Derek about emoticons. This of course also turns out to be a big mistake. Did he mention that said boyfriend was monosyllabic? Well with emoticons, apparently Derek felt justified in using primarily one response to anything that Stiles texted him: (smirk)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.flickr.com/photos/90068868@N05/8187810006/in/photostream/  
> http://www.flickr.com/photos/90068868@N05/8187810272/in/photostream/
> 
> If anyone can explain to me how to post the pictures in the story I will edit to add them properly.
> 
> I'm hoping to do a Dad reveal and then there is sexy losing virginity time that has to be messed with because the phone is evil (not me, the phone! seriously stop looking at me like you don't believe me)


	8. Love Locked Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So you think you have had embarrassing situations with pocket calls? Try butt dialing your Dad.... This is Stiles' tale of woe or how he sort of comes out to his Dad.
> 
> Completely fluffy and fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf. I don't own the characters. Any poor decision making made by characters owned by other people in this Fic are entirely of my making.

So...Stiles kinda really really really didn't want to tell his Dad about Derek. He's not sure if that is because he thinks his Dad will get that disappointed look on his face, or whether he's concerned that his Dad will forbid the relationship and he'd have to be even more secretive than he already is, or if it's just that he is enjoying having something that is entirely his own. Maybe it's a combination of all three and the weight of each reason fluctuates every day. Nevertheless, Stiles’ phone decided it was time for them to come clean with the Sheriff.

So the first thing it does of course was that accidental text swap. Stiles knows that his Dad isn't 100% convinced that the text was as innocent as he had tried to make it out to be. I mean, the next time that Scott came over Stiles’ Dad hung out with them the whole night. He even sat through their Gilmour Girls marathon and watched them play Call of Duty.  It was really kinda creepy and Stiles soooo didn't get it until his Dad shouted up the stairs when he and Scott had gone upstairs for a few minutes to check his computer for some cheats that Scott had heard about for Call of Duty that they needed to keep the bedroom door open. Scott had even looked puzzled by the request because it had never happened before.  It suddenly dawned on Stiles that his Dad thought that maybe he and Scott had some weird bromance going on. One of a sexual nature. Awkward! So he invites Scott over a few more times, just so his Dad can see that their relationship is the same old strictly best friends relationship. So eventually his Dad's suspicions fade.

And after outing himself and Derek through ringtones, Stiles tries really hard to remember to put his phone on vibrate when he is home. So a few times he forgets and Derek texts to say he's upstairs and his phone rings out with songs like : Rihanna's " ** _S &M_**", One Night Only's " ** _You and Me_** ", Justin Timberlake's " ** _My Love" & "LoveStoned_**" , but honestly a guy can only try.

One day his phone goes off playing NIN's **_Closer_** and his Dad finally asks "Anything I should know about Stiles?" But Stiles doesn't have the courage to speak up, so he just tells his Dad no. The next time though, when his Dad doesn't even ask anymore, Stiles just asks what his Dad would think if he thought maybe he liked guys as well as girls. They have an honest conversation about sexuality and how his Dad loves him no matter what. So that day?  Stiles totally doesn't hate his phone.

He was kind of surprised when his Dad corners him one Sunday afternoon after Stiles had come home from Derek’s place, having lied and pretended that he was at Scott’s instead.   Stiles was all happy and smiley because he and Derek had made out half the night (grinding until you each came is apparently acceptable even if full on sex was not according to Derek's rule book).

"Stiles, I thought we had the kind of relationship that we could tell each other anything." The Sheriff's opening salvo went. And it was a good one. It always made Stiles feel vaguely guilty about all of his lies.

"Of course we mostly do." Was the best Stiles could answer.

"Then do you want to explain why you haven't told me that you and Scott are dating or hanging or macking or whatever it is you teens say these days." Stiles could feel his eyes getting bigger and bigger with each word his Father uttered.

"Dad are you kidding me right now? I thought we had settled this. I am not, I repeat, not, having a gay love affair of the broke back mountain variety or of any variety with Scott. Scott's my best friend. Where is this even coming from?" Stiles knows that there is a level of horror is his voice that he hopes his Dad picks up on. Scott maybe his best friend, but there is no way he is remotely attracted to him.

"Well, there was those texts...and I read that boys your age will often experiment with friends..." His Dad's face is going as red as his and Stiles hopes that his Dad realizes how dumb he sounds right now. "...and then you butt dialed me from Scott's last night and left me a message."

"What! Not! OMG For serious!" Stiles pulls out his phone. He'd had to charge it last night, because the battery had totally died while he was making out at Derek's last night. Sure enough at 1:30am there was a telephone call to his Dad's cell.

His phone hates him! How is this his life?!?!

"And just so you don't start trying to figure out how you can get out of this with some lie?" The Sheriff adds as he dials up his messages and plays back the one left by Stiles butt. Seriously, he really hates Derek at the moment, because if it wasn't for Derek's awesome power of thrusting, maybe Stiles wouldn't be here right now having to listen to himself moan and ask for _more_ and _harder_ in front of his Dad. Yeah. But also seriously, it was kind of hot and one part of his brain was wondering how he could digitally upload the sound as a new ringtone for Derek or something. There was also definitely a second male voice asking if he liked it and if he was close. Stiles can't stop his hand from face palming him. Cause seriously, he kinda deserved it.

Stiles honestly hopes that Derek isn't pissed, but he's reasonably certain that the Alpha wouldn't want anyone thinking that he was having sexy time with Scott, never mind someone as important as his Dad. "Dad," he began "we need to talk. I have a boyfriend..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments and can take amendment suggestions!! I am unbeta'd and try really hard not to make too many mistakes (but I know I fail).


	9. When The Dark Force Can Be Used For The Good Of All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Danny and Stiles wanting to make something nice for Derek......
> 
> Wanting somehow to make it up to Derek, cause he doesn't have to do the whole "meet the parents" thing for him (though honestly having to spend any time around Peter should qualify) Stiles decides to get Derek a present he might use.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I owned Teen Wolf (which I don't) I would have a whole website devoted to making all things teen wolf and I would have computer minions to make all my ideas work. *Sighs* I should own teen wolf, because I have awesome ideas.

Stiles totally stole his Dad's phone and uploaded the message to his computer. He told Derek about having to tell his Dad about them and why. Derek totally laughed his ass off that Stiles’ Dad had thought that Stiles was sexing Scott up.  Well Derek laughed until Stiles pointed out that 1. Derek hadn't thought it was that ridiculous when he had seen that video on his phone and 2. The Sheriff wanted to do a "dinner" with them both.

The dinner went fine. Minus all the gun cleaning and talking about underage minors and statutory rape.  And Stiles' personal favourite was the "What are your intentions towards my son" talk. So yeah, except for all that it went swimmingly.

Wanting somehow to make it up to Derek, cause he doesn't have to do the whole "meet the parents" thing for him (though honestly having to spend any time around Peter should qualify). Stiles decides to get Derek a present he thinks Derek might use.

"Hey Danny." He starts. He's pleased when he gets a wary smile, because it's much better than the dismissive look he used to get before. "You know how you were arrested that time for hacking..."

"Jeez, keep it down will you!" Danny hisses. "I don't want that going around school."

"Fine...You know how you did that thing that got you into trouble with those people?" He ignores Danny's eye roll "Does that mean that you can like create programming too?"

"Why?" Danny asks hesitantly

"I just want to get Derek something he can use, you know on a day to day basis? And I had this idea. I'm not sure if it's even possible, but I thought you might know, given your predilections."

Danny laughs "So given my "predilections" the thing you want to ask me about is computer programming."

"Uhhh yeah. Is that weird?" Stiles laughs.

"No, that's cool. What can I do you for?"

"That expression is sooo dirrrrty." Stiles can't stop himself from saying. "I mean, I'd like to maybe have a custom set of emoticons?"

That's how Derek started using more than just the (smirk) emoticon. Cause he had a whole range of custom made werewolf ones. There was the red eye'd Alpha for when he was issuing orders. There was a smirking wolf (not because Stiles thinks that Derek smirking is hot! Seriously!  Stiles is sure that one had other motivations behind it and he will figure them out, one day). There was custom wolf emoticons made to look like each of the pack. Stiles had to admit that Isaac's was his favourite with big blue, heart melting eyes.  He totally thought the cheek bones on Jackson's were hilarious. This way though, Derek could text general instructions, but pick which pack members were to work on it by putting their emoticon in the message by the instruction.

Whenever Scott was being too independent, Derek would send him the submitting wolf emoticon. Stiles thought it was funny; Scott, not so much. Stiles really kinda liked that his emoticon was a red hoodie wearing human. Lydia complained that the face on hers was too round, but Danny had managed to get the strawberry blonde hair perfectly. There was the (puppy pile) which meant pack time and the (wolves howling) which meant pack meeting and there was even (puppy eyes) just because.

Stiles had even forced Danny to create a werewolf with heart eyes. Danny hadn't wanted to, but Stiles totally pulled the "You pulled me out of the closet" card (which btw, that card totally rocks). Though Stiles liked it when Derek sent him the heart eyed werewolf it wasn’t his favourite.  Sure it made his heart leap a little, because Derek used it sparingly, but that one is something he’d still rather have the actual words for.  His favourite is actually a combination text.  When he gets the growling alpha wolf, submitting wolf and little red riding hood Stiles combo it means that he was totally getting sexy time and sexy time is his favourite!

 

 

I would recommend looking at the emoticons on this site:

[http://thepacksden.net/thepackboard/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=62&start=1500](http://thepacksden.net/thepackboard/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=62&start=1500)

I also have the Isaac emoticon on my tumblr here:

http://anunkindraven.tumblr.com/post/35847634484/anunkindraven-chapter-9-of-punctuation-while

 

Please note I did not create it and whoever did likely did not know about Isaac, I just thought it was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for commenting. Again, if anyone has any ideas about how to teach me to post my photos on A03 I would love you forever (forever ever)....
> 
> Please post comments and corrections! Some of you have been lovely enough to do that and THANKS!!!!! <3 <3 <3


	10. Notifications Pending (be afraid....very afraid)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stiles starts getting weird reactions from his friends in school, he knows his phone/technology has suceeded in getting him into trouble again. Little did he know how much trouble!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf or it's characters. Other very lovely people do and it's because of them we are all Fan Fic addicts.  
> I also don't own Facebook. If I did, I wouldn't have time to write FanFic because I would be involved in litigation all the time trying to keep the fortune I would have amassed.

All day Stiles has been having random messages pop up on his Facebook notifications. First there was Jackson's "No way in hell Stilinski." And then there was Alison's "Awww it's really sweet of you to think of us, but I don't think Scott will let me." Lydia's had read "Okay, I'm in, but this is purely scientific research." Since his phone sucks he can't really get much beyond his notifications to figure out what the fuck the special children are all talking about.

Scott had literally run away from him that morning. Stiles had just started to ask him whether they were going to hang out on his birthday when Scott turned green and booked it. The rest of the day Scott wouldn't look at him and had even traded seats with other people so that they couldn't talk. Stiles managed to give him a "what the fuck" look in econ, but Scott just looked sorry and a little sad/confused before just shaking his head and then pretending to pay attention to coach rambling about the economy or about how WallStreet was an awesome movie or something. Like that was important in the face of this obvious werewolf/pack apocalypse that was Stiles’ life right now.

Erica just had the shit giggles every time she saw Stiles and couldn't manage to get two words out. She did send a Facebook notification that said "I really don't think Derek wants that" at the end of the day. Isaac just kept sending him puppy dog eyes begging him about something. When Stiles finally says "What!" all annoyed at him and Isaac caves and just says "Okay." Boyd just gives him that "Dude" look and occasional does that "You're a mess and a half" head shake of his.

It's really not until he gets Danny's notification that he starts to feel the panic. Danny's message says: "Is this a wolf thing? I know I'm not your guru, but these things are better off being private. Don't forget the No glove no love campaign is there for a reason and lots of lube is essential. I want to be "there" for you, but I don't want to "be  ** _there_**  for you" if you know what I mean. Sorry."

You see, late last night, probably later than he should have been doing it in retrospect, Stiles had been showing Derek how cool it was that he could set up a pack meeting event or just a pack hang out event on Facebook and send invites to the pack and that the pack could respond back to the invite as to whether they could make it or not. So of course, since he’s Stiles, the example he chose to use had to be of a subliminal message sort, not a plain old boring pack meeting sort. I mean otherwise, why would Derek pay attention.  He knows Derek thinks this stuff is boring.

So he went on Derek's Facebook account, which he had created for Derek btw, and created the following event:

 **Name:** Stiles' Cherry Popping Party

 **Details:**  Stiles will be 18 and his ever patient (read withholding) werewolf boyfriend is finally going to be able to tap that ass.

 **Where:**  Derek's place with candles and flowers damnit.

 **When:**  August 26, 2013

 **Start time:**  00:05

 **End time:**?

 **Hosts:**  Derek Hale, Stiles "the man" Stilinski

 **Privacy:**  Invite only

Totally cool and subtle right? Of course Derek just scoffed at him, but it did lead to some nuzzling which led to some lovely grinding sexytime, so Stiles has no regrets. Or rather, he **_had_** no regrets until Danny's message, because it sounds like somehow this might be remotely related.

The whole thing was driving him crazy and he just had to know.  He looked in the computer lab to see how free it was, but most of the computers were filled and there was a teacher monitor in the room.  Stiles totally did not want to be checking Derek’s Facebook page when an adult might see it and tell his Dad.  There are some things you just didn’t want your Dad knowing.  Stiles just decides to cut last period and run home to see what the fuck was going on.  When he gets home he jumps on his computer and types in Derek's info:

http://www.facebook.com/derek.hale.9250

As he does his phone goes off showing a notification from Facebook. The first notification is Isaac accepting his invite. The second is a message from his Dad saying that he'd better invite Derek over for dinner, because they all needed to talk.....again.

Stiles opens up the fake invite on Derek’s Facebook and sure enough, Stiles had hit friends as the privacy setting and not invite only and had just invited everyone in the pack and his Dad to witness the loss of his virginity. He swallows hard, re-lists the event as invite only and deletes everyone from the list but him and Derek (he admits to himself that he doesn't delete the event, because, well everyone really should have a party like that) and then dials Derek. He's pretty certain that a very angry wolf may decide to unhost his party after this phone call and Stiles really will die a virgin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, comments and kudos are lovely. Just reading this Fic is lovely too! 
> 
> I honestly don't mind if you help me with any mistakes I have made, because it makes my Fic stronger.


	11. Hide your phones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that expression about people locking up their daughters when certain people come into town? Well around Stiles people should lock up all phones....especially when he's drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Teen Wolf.....if I did it would be in Dylan O'Brien's contract that he has to do a shirtless scene at least once per season and that he would have to show off those drummers arms every episode. just saying.

Stiles conversation with his Dad had gone something along the lines of "While I'm very happy to know that you and Derek followed by my rules and those of the State of California, I'm not certain we need to advertise you having sex to the general public..." route. And of course his Dad had gone by Ms. McCall’s and picked up brochures about safe sex and gay sex and apparently every other kind of sex that is out here. Stiles had sat through the lecture and promised his Dad he would be safe, careful and that yes this was something he was ready for.

You would think it was Stiles' first rodeo the way his Dad had carried on. Well, technically it was, but emotionally it wasn't and he'd done all kinds of sex acts with Derek and was sooo ready for the whole final stage thing. Of course none of this is something you can really explain to your Dad. It might be _just_ a little bit uncomfortable to say that he's done grinding, sucking, experienced rimming and tonguing, just not dicking. He's not even sure his Dad would understand what he meant, and he really didn't want to have to explain it. Or to have to look his Dad in the face after his Dad googled the terms and looked at a few of the sites that popped up.

Of course Derek got the same lecture when he came over. About being careful and not rushing and making sure that they each respected each other and their decisions. Sooooooo embarrassing and as far as Derek was concerned totally Stiles' fault. But last night still happened (Yay cherry popping party a duex!!), so Stiles just chucks the Dad stuff into the back of his mind and decides he's just going to enjoy his triumphs.

The birthday party for Stiles the next day might have been a little awkward to start off with. Scott did everything he could NOT to stand downwind of Stiles and to not look him in the eye. Isaac kept just giving him these happy smiles and hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. Which was not awkward at all. Really. Neither was the sniffing and the happy smiles that came with that. Fortunately not even Derek views Isaac's puppy love as a threat, so that was okay.

Jackson, the ass that he is, brought him a rubber donut to sit on. "In case his ass was sore". Which okay, his ass was a little sore, but everyone did not need to keep talking about it.

Allison and Erica had an almost obscene interest in what happened the night before. It was a little disturbing, but they kept saying it was all part of girl talk. Stiles really wasn't sure he wanted in on all that. So he muttered under his breath that he was going to go into minute detail if Scott didn't come over and rescue him ASAP. Thank god for werewolf hearing because that actually worked. Scott and Boyd dragged the girls off for couples time.

Lydia was evil, pure unadulterated evil because the theme for Stiles' birthday party was cherries. Dessert? Why yes we have cherry pie and cherries jubilee. Drinks? Why not have a Shirley Temple and of course because his dad knew about the party, they were virgin Shirley Temples with _cherry_ garnishes. The napkins, plates, table clothes...all had cherries on them. And yes there was even cherry pop or cherry coke. The music? Well wouldn't you know that one of the reoccurring songs was Sour Cherry by the Kills. Seriously? He really almost hated her. Except its Lydia and when she tells him she's proud, hands him a drink (not a virgin cocktail whooohooo), turns him in Derek's direction and says "Go get him tiger." as she slaps his ass he remembers exactly why he used to crush on her.

So, it’s okay, he can totally handle it. Just a little ribbing amongst friends, and in his own accidental way, he had asked for this. And he was a man now. And of course, he just accidentally said that last bit out loud. He hears his werewolf boyfriend just huff behind him and Jackson the douche says "Uhhhh Stiles, I'm pretty sure that after what happened last night, you're the woman, not the man." That earns Jackson a slap across the back of his head by Lydia (and that girl does not hold back...) and Danny quipping back "Well Jackson, I'd pretty much say that it's a guarantee that you'd be the bottom of any relationship you're in straight or gay, so what does that say about you? People in glass houses dude..." Lydia just makes the "So true" face of hers and blows on her nails like she's the boss. Which really? She is.

Danny being Danny can't help but check in. He sidles up to Stiles at some point during the night and asks quietly "Is everything good and are you okay." Stiles just laughs and says "Sore, but awesome."

The party is cool and they all have a pretty good time. There was secreted alcohol and Stiles and a few of the others may have gotten a little bit drunk. He and Derek may have cuddled (Derek refuses to call it cuddling. He says that they just fell asleep on each other) in Scott's basement where they had all crashed. Danny unfortunately had to go home, because he had to babysit his sibs.

When they woke up in the morning they all decided to go to the diner for pancakes. Stiles had refused to make them given it was HIS birthday. Given the pouts he'd gotten, you would think he had announced an embargo on chocolate and coffee. Of course they hit the diner at the same time as the nightshift from the Sheriff’s office,  The shift usually had their breakfast together before heading home and crashing. Stiles' dad is there too because he'd worked the nightshift since Stiles was going to be busy and they had plans for later in the day. The Sheriff just waves and smiles in the packs direction as they get a table. Stiles smiles a little to himself, because as they pass his Dad, he hears him mention "...my son and his boyfriend". When Stiles turns to catch Derek's eyes he sees the smile that crosses Derek’s face. So he knows that Derek had heard too. He can't resist reaching out and taking Derek's hand. They can be public now. He's of age. Derek doesn't shift away, in fact his hand tightens.

Just then Stiles’ phone starts to ring. It's not a ringtone that he recognizes, but it is definitely coming from his pocket and loudly. It is also announcing to all and sundry just what his sexual status was.

The " ** _I'm not a virgin anymore, I just thought you should know..._** " lyric just keeps looping around over and over again. He quickly answers the phone to stop the Poe song from repeating again. "Hello?"

"Dude, Jackson said to call this morning to see where you were all going to be for breakfast?" He hears Danny's voice over the phone.

"Uhhhh, we were at the diner, but we are soooo going home to have pancakes." With a glare at Jackson, Stiles does an about face and practically runs out of the diner. The reason it's only _practically_ a run is he is dragging a reluctant werewolf boyfriend with him. "It's my birthday after party breakfast! No one dies at that! Even if they deserve to be killed." Stiles yells at Derek who just looks confused.

"Okay...?!" Danny says clearly not fully getting it. "So..the diner or your place then?"

"Neither...you are all uninvited! Fucking Jackson and my fucking phone.." Stiles grumps as he shoves Derek into his car and climbs in the passenger side.

"Ummmm Stiles.." Derek says.

"What!" Stiles snaps "That was my Dad's whole nightshift in there. Almost half the town was in there..."

"Yeah and they probably wouldn't have thought anything of it if you hadn't gotten all flustered and stormed out. Besides, you were the one that changed your ringtone. You thought it was hilarious last night."

"OMG! What else did I do drunk last night?!" Stiles hit his head on the dashboard.

"You did karaoke and you kept texting someone. You wouldn't let me see. You kept saying it was a "girl thing" and that my "werewolf ass just doesn't understand".

"Ohhhhhh nooooooo." Stiles moaned as he checked his texts and sure enough he had texted Scott all kinds of stuff about him and Derek that no one needed to know. "Ohhh God." He quickly dialed Scott's number and said "Whatever you do, don't open the texts from last night. Just delete them. You are never going to be able to unread it if you don't."

He hears a yelp and a "Stiles, what the hell did you send me that shit for, oh my god I need brain bleach." before he hangs up the phone.

Fixing Derek with a very serious death threat kind of glare he says "You are making me pancakes! They had better be fluffy and with chocolate chips and bananas. Then you and I are going to have a talk about how it's a werewolf boyfriend's job when his significant other is drunk to stop him from doing anything with his phone!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love love love hearing your comments. Also please point out any spelling mistakes! I hate making them and love correcting them.


	12. Don't Lose Your Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles loses his phone and has to prove it it his

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Teen Wolf. If I did, then I would have photos of Derek's ass as my screen saver too.

So there was the day that Stiles lost his phone. Given that he has had to buy new one already this year and can't afford a new one, he desperately hopes that someone has turned it in. Borrowing Scott's cell he dials his own phone. Lucky for him, it turns out it was found and turned in to the school office.  Even luckier, that means speaking to the principal to get it back.

"What do you have set as your screen saver?" The principal asks him. Given that Stiles rotates a series of background photos, Stiles really had to think about it.  Yeah, he'd had a bootie call last night so that means...

"Uhhh, it's a photo of my boyfriend's ass?" He manages to say without squeaking. Or at least he hopes he has. He tries to play it cool, but he knows his ear tips must be turning red because he can feel them burning.

"Describe it for me. We need to make sure it's yours" The principal says.

"Well, round very nicely shaped. Not really an apple or a heart shape really. Very toned....and tight. And I think he's wearing his Calvins? The boxer shorts cause they allow for some flow, but are also totally flattering?" Stiles knows that his voice is going higher as he goes further into the explanation because he has watched the principal's face go from confusion to horror and realizes that this might not be what the principal had been asking him to describe, but once started he couldn't stop.

To make matters worse the phone started ringing and the song " ** _I Want To Sex You Up_** " by Color Me Bad

 _(I wanna love you down)_  
I wanna sex you up,  
All nite, (you make me feel good)  
I want (to rub you down)  
I wanna sex you up,

 _Let me take off all your clothes._  
Disconnect the phone so nobody knows.  
Let me light a candle,  
So that we can make it better.  
Makin' love until we drown.

blasted out and the image of Derek's ass in his black Calvin's switched to one of Derek's naked abs.  Stiles can’t help the smirk that flashes across his face before shifting uncomfortably in his chair.  He feels both proud and embarrassed at the same time.

"I take it that this is the boyfriend calling and that he can confirm this is your phone?" The principal says drily. Stiles just nods his head and crosses his fingers that Derek won't be pissed.

"Hello, who might you be? I take it you have some name other than 'hot bod 4 hire'?" The principal asks. "The reason I am asking is I am the principal at Beacon Hills High and this phone has been turned in as lost and we are trying to locate the owner." Stiles could hear angry sounding rumble of words coming through the phone. "So it _is_ Mr. Stilinski's phone?" He confirms before saying thank you and hanging up the phone. "I will of course have to speak to your father about this." The principal adds before ushering Stiles out of his office after handing Stiles back his phone.

As Stiles heads to his locker to get his homework and to dump off his books, Stiles gets a text from Derek.

**Derek:**

Stiles, seriously?! For hire? I'm outside.

Stiles is glad that Derek doesn't even know about the screen saver or the abs or his ringtone for the day. He also wished the principal would forget about calling the Sheriff, because he just doesn’t want another lecture or a look at those sex pamphlets.


	13. When The Hot Werewolf Boyfriend Loses The Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek loses his phone, which is so much worse then when Stiles does......and some how the reason it's worse is all Stiles' fault!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf or any of it's characters. If I did, then that photo of Stiles tied to a chair would have been taken in my house....it wasn't so I am choosing to add it into my story instead.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!!! Thanks for all your comments so far! I love comments and always reply! I take the time to write, you take the time to read, you comment, I respond. It's reciprocity at it's finest!

Derek is standing at the front desk of the police station and it is entirely voluntary. Well mostly voluntary.  He sighs under his breath because he just knows that Stiles is never going to let him live down the fact that he left his phone either at the bank or the grocery store (he's not sure which) and that both have a policy of turning lost phones into the police station. The officer at the front desk must have recognised him, because she had told him to wait a minute and hightailed it back to the Sheriff's office. He sighs again. He's not sure if she recognised him from the wanted poster days or from the diner the other week. He thinks she was there at the birthday breakfast. Either way, he was now going to have to be dealing with the Sheriff. He tries to reign in his nerves as the Sheriff walks up to the counter. "Son, what can I do for you? Nothing is wrong with Stiles is there?" The Sheriff asks a worried look on his face.

"No, he fine. I just picked him up from practice. He's out in the car trying to break my radio." He clicks the lock button on his remote locking his doors and then unlocking them, warning Stiles that he can hear what the boy's doing. "I left my phone at the bank or the grocery store earlier today and they both said if it had been found it would be here."

"Yeah, most business don't want their employees stealing the phones or the responsibility of finding the owners so they bring them here." The Sheriff explains as he pulls a shoebox of phones out from under the counter. "What kind of phone is it?"

"Black Iphone." Derek answers. "No identifying marks."

"Well I got 2 that fit that description. Password? And what's on the phone?"

Derek sighs again and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Password: Stiles. The photo should be of Stiles and me." While the Sheriff fiddles with the phones, Derek tries not to get flustered. Nothing like telling your boyfriend's Dad that his son's name is your phones password and that you have a dorky couple photo as your background. Lame. Never mind that it was Stiles that had set up his phone in the first place, but he's not going to admit that to the Sheriff either.

"You boys doing anything interesting tonight?" The Sheriff asks as he tries the second phone obviously feeling the need to fill in the awkward silence.

"Just picked up some movies. Going to watch them at my house. I won't keep him out too late." God Derek really hates talking to parents.

"Ahhh, good. Football game is on tomorrow, you boys might want to stay in and watch it. Stiles could make grilled cheese and I have cold beer." Just as Derek is going to answer back that he would talk to Stiles the Sheriff says "Ahhh haaa" in triumph and in the next instant Derek's now unlocked phone begins to ring.

To Derek's ever living shame and horror the ringtone is not a song, but instead is the clip of that butt call that Stiles made to his Dad that one time. _The clip that was never ever ever suppose to resurface again._ The one that the Sheriff believed he had deleted from his phone never knowing a copy had been made.  Derek rubs his face with his palm trying to figure out how to get out of this awkward situation. He looks at the Sheriff, mouth open to explain what he’s not quite sure and notices that the Sheriff is holding the phone screen facing him so that he can see the profile photo that popped up. Derek is seriously going to kill the kid.

"Want to explain to me why my son is wearing a deputy's uniform while bound and gagged to a chair?"

"I swear to god that photo was not the one that was there last night. Nor was that my ringtone." Derek goes for earnest, but feels like all he pulls off is pissed.

"The infamous Stiles strikes again." The Sheriff says with a bit of a smile. "He does the same thing to my phone sometimes." Derek grins a little and he and the Sheriff have a moment of shared frustration and fondness for Stiles. The Sheriff shakes his head at Stiles' mischief, but then his smile fades a little as if he is suddenly connecting the dots. "So, if you had a different ringtone and profile photo of my son on here last night and Stiles was asleep at home and I dropped him off at school this morning, then when **exactly** did he have time to access your phone?"

Later Derek admits it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but he just grabs his phone from the Sheriff and books it. Jumps in the car and drives off.

Stiles, of course, gets a call from his Dad who tells him that he and Derek are expected for football tomorrow no excuses. That there will be talks and rules and no further sex while his Dad is in the house. When Stiles hangs up his phone, he looks at Derek and asks "The fuck dude?"

Derek just gives him that look, the one that says it's all your fault Stiles and adds "Did you change your ringtone on my phone and your profile pic by any chance Stiles?" And watches the dawning horror on Stiles' face as he realizes what must have happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see the photo, because I still can't figure out how to post them, please look at the facebook account I set up regarding the cherry popping party. The photo is on there in Derek's photo album.
> 
> http://www.facebook.com/derek.hale.9250


	14. Chose Your Contact Names With Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles picks a fight, does really sweet things to make up for it and then it all goes wrong technology style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf. Guys if any of us did we would have year round episodes wouldn't we......

Stiles has no recollection of how the fight even started. He just knows that he was the one who had escalated it to the point where Derek dropped him off at his doorstep without even a goodnight kiss. Well, if Stiles was really being honest that was his fault too. Derek had leaned over the stick shift and had probably been about to kiss him, but in his childish temper Stiles had jumped out of the car before he could. So he really couldn't blame Derek for the way he just peeled out of the driveway.

He tried to skype Derek late that night after he had calmed down, but Derek hadn't answered. The jackass was ignoring him. In a fit of petulance, Stiles had changed his name to Jackass, even though he knew Derek really wasn't being one. Derek had every right to be mad and to not want to speak to Stiles. He probably thought that Stiles wanted to continue with the argument. In the end, all Stiles could do was send Derek the written message of ' _call me maybe?'_  and hope that he would.

Stiles knows he owes Derek an apology, but he doesn't want to just show up at Derek’s hat in hand. That isn't Stiles' way, or the Stilinski way. Apologies need to be done big, especially when you've been the dink. So after checking his skype and phone to see if he had any messages from Derek, which he didn't, he jumped in the shower and got on with his plan.

So first he goes online and looks up what he needs to know. Then he goes out through the neighbourhood and picks/steals flowers from people's gardens. Phlox, white carnations, forget-me-nots, heliotrope and honeysuckle are quickly made up into a bouquet. They are put in a vase of water to keep them fresh while he works on the next stage of his plan to woo his werewolf boyfriend into not being mad at him anymore.

Baking. Stiles knows that the old adage about wooing a man through his stomach applies twice as much to werewolves who are always hungry. So first he bakes a giant chocolate chip cookie, because who doesn't like chocolate chip and he needs a big cookie in order to write his apology on it. He makes it heart shaped, just because.  On it in icing he writes 'I'm sorry'. Then he bakes gingerbread men. Only instead of men, he makes gingerbread wolves. Well he does make a single gingerbread man, which he decorates to look like him as much as he can. Icing on plaid is hard to do.

He puts everything together on the kitchen table ready to go. He texts Isaac and asks him to pick it up and take it to Derek. He's not ready yet to see him. He wants his message to get there first. He also quickly runs upstairs and burns a cd copy of what he considers his and Derek's playlist, labels it Derek and Stiles’ infinite playlist, puts it in a sleeve and props it with the flowers.

Stiles then grabs construction paper, glitter, glue and gel pens from his desk and sits at the kitchen table building a card creation that rivals any he has ever made in the past. It is glittertastic! He knows it's totally dorky and that Derek will probably hate it, but he can't stop himself. Homemade cards had always made his Mum and Dad smile when they got them. Even Lydia had briefly smiled at the cards he used to make her for Valentine's Day before she threw them out. So there is a red glitter heart in the middle of a black crayon werewolf and a boy with a red glitter gel penned hoodie. Inside he writes:  _I'm sorry I was an idiot. Give me chance to make it up to you. Call me on skype at 5 for a sneak peak of what I have planned for the night. Dad is working and I'll make dinner and fighting is always followed by makeup sex Right? Love your very own P.I.T.A (pain in the ass)._  Stiles hastily shoves it into an envelope and puts it on the pile of things to go.

When Isaac shows up to make the delivery, Stiles pays him with a lovely turkey and avocado sandwich. Isaac was happy that Stiles was going to make everything right with Derek, because apparently he had been all kinds of upset when he had gotten home that night and had shifted and gone out. Isaac confirmed that Derek had dragged himself home later that morning and was sleeping off his run. He promised Stiles to give Derek all his gifts and loaded them into the back of the car so they wouldn't slide around. Before he leaves Isaac gives Stiles a hug and tells him not to worry that Derek obviously loves him and he would do everything he could to help fix their fight.

While waiting for 5pm to roll around, Stiles calls Lydia to tell her all about what plans he had put into place, well except the sex plans, because...uncomfortable. She and Allison were over at Jackson's planning a shopping trip for the next day. They both tell him that he was on the right track and wish him luck. Lydia does add that she hopes he has hot sex planned too because that always works to make Jackson forgive her, not that she ever really needs forgiveness. Stiles just thanked her for her advice and began getting things ready by putting together meat loaf and buttered bake potatoes and them putting them on to cook. Then he plays a few video games, set the kitchen table putting the stolen pink roses that he had held back in the centre for effect. At 4:30 Stiles heads upstairs and has a nice 20 minute shower. Then he double checks the camera on his computer that he'd spent some of his afternoon setting up at a precise angle and lighting options until he has it as optimal as he can.

When Stiles hears the skype ringtone, he puts his ipod music which has been set on low and yells out "Don't say anything, just enjoy the view." And lays down on the bed exactly how he had tested earlier, with the camera perfectly angled to see him from his dick up to his face without having to look at his feet.

Stiles flips open the bottle of lube and spreads some on his dick. He keeps his eyes shut, a little embarrassed about doing this because it was kind of his first time making a show/production out of rubbing one out. Besides, with his eyes closed he doesn't have to see if Derek is still mad at him and he can just fantasize that Derek is standing in the room with him watching with rapt attention.

Picturing Derek in the room with him gets him all hot and bothered and makes the process all that easier to enjoy. He begins moaning and groaning and really getting into it. Calling Derek's name and telling him all the filthy things that he wants Derek to do to him also helps. When he hears his bedroom window slide open he is a little surprised. He thought Derek would have at least waited until he was done before coming over.

"Stiles what the fuck are you doing?" Derek growls at him

"Uhhh getting the foreplay over with? You must have been enjoying the show since you came over so quickly." Stiles answers confused why Derek seems so mad.

"I came over because you sent me apology cookies." Derek says

"Apology cookies? Really?! You too are such pussys." Jackson voice says loudly over the computer speakers. "Not that the girls didn't appreciate the floor show dickweed, but I think we'll hang up now."

Stiles looks horrified at the computer as Alison and Lydia wave goodbye and give him thumbs up before disappearing from the screen. OMG the girls must have been calling to wish him luck with his whole make up with Derek plan. When he had seen the letters J a c k his brain had assumed it ended with _ass_ and not _son_. Most awkward face palm worthy screw up ever though.

"Why didn't you call on skype?" Stiles asks Derek. “If you had just called this would never have happened.”

It turns out that Derek had never gotten Stiles’ homemade card, he had just come over because he was willing to forgive Stiles his stubbornness as a result of the cookies and flowers.

Dinner ended up being slightly over cooked because apparently make up sex is totally a thing!

The worst part of the whole answering the wrong call thing came the next day at school when it became apparent that everyone had apparently seen portions of Stiles' self sexing videotape that Jackson had made off of skype! While unable to keep from blushing about the whole thing Stiles demanded that Jackson forward the video to him and then delete any and all copies he had made. Danny turned out to be a great ally in this going over to Jackson's after school and deleting the video off of Jackson's computer and youtube and from Jackson's phone after having forwarded it to Stiles' and Derek's phones.

"I think they all watched it on the youtube site" Danny tells Stiles "He didn't email it or forward it from his computer or phone at all and the youtube video was blocked to the public. Just the gang was listed to be able to view it."

"Yay." Is all Stiles can think to say.  He is just super happy that the video is off the net and only viewable by Derek because he’s not certain what his possessive boyfriend would do if Jackson still had copies.

"I'd just check to see whose calling you next time." Danny says.

"Advice to live by. This should be an after school special." Stiles says before heading home. All he can think is thank God his Dad hadn't seen this one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all the comments I have gotten so far....they have been wonderful. I'm going to dedicate this chapter to Ladylokioftardis for sharing her awkward technology moment with me. See, Stiles can do something worse then what happened to you with your lost phone!!


	15. Thin Line Between Love and Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of how Stiles gets his new phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf. None of this would ever happen in teen wolf......

Stiles really does not want to talk about how his old phone got broken.  It’s really kind of embarrassing.  He and Derek had gone out clubbing.  Stiles really, really loves going because he loves the music and the dancing and how possessive Derek gets when they hit the dance floor.  Still reeling from a natural buzz and desperately needing to pee, Stiles decided to take care of two things at once.  He calls Scott while at the urinal.   Typical for Stiles, while he’s zipping up the phone slips out from where he was holding between his ear and shoulder and slips into the toilet.  Instinctively he bends down to fish it out muttering "Come on, come on, come to mama."

Suddenly there is stranger danger in the form of a Creepy McCreeperton pressing up against Stiles from behind.  Stiles figures he must have taken Stiles’ bent over position and words to be an invitation.  When Stiles straightens up and turns around to tell the guy to fuck off, he finds himself hauled into the guy’s arms instead. 

Of course that is the moment that Derek decides to walk in.  Stiles of course freaks because the washroom lothario is not letting him go and Derek is going to freak out and kill the guy or something.  Whenever Derek tells this story he says that Stiles just started flailing around and accidently clocked the dude in the head with his phone.  Stiles maintains that he was very calm and asked his new friend to let him go and then calmly beat him about the head with said cell phone.

Derek might have just over reacted just a little bit and grabbed the guy by the neck and thrown him against the wall and Stiles might have just flailed a lot losing his balance at the abrupt motion of Derek pulling the guy off of him and on the toilet water that had dripped on the floor. His wet phone might have just gone flying out of his hand and smashed against the wall.

Stiles, though grateful on some level for Derek's interference had still given him a hard time about his jealousy and for breaking his phone.  Of course Stiles told no one about dropping his phone in the toilet because well free phone reasons.... So his super hot boyfriend bought him a new phone and because he is also an awesome sugar daddy who maybe felt a little guilty about being over protective, he bought Stiles an IPhone.

Stiles loved having the IPhone because it allowed them to use FaceTime. Stiles loved FaceTime. He would call Derek and Derek would give him a frowny look and say "Stiles, we're in the middle of a pack meeting." Or "Stiles it's the full moon, stop calling." Or his favourite "Stiles it's 3 a.m. go to sleep!"

But you see when Stiles called and called and just didn’t stop,  Derek would get frustrated.   Stiles could see by Derek’s facial expressions just how much to press him until Derek was mad enough to climb through Stiles' window to tell him to stop. Derek couldn't just shut off his phone because of the pack and he couldn't ignore Stiles' call because it could conceivably be an emergency, it is **Stiles** after all. But when the werewolf came through the bedroom window, Stiles got what he really wanted, which is real face time. So for once, Stiles was going to call this one a draw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.....the next chapter will be posted tomorrow I hope. I think you will really like it. I may have to do another chapter or two after that....you never know.
> 
> Comments are lovely!!


	16. Exposures in the Grocery Store

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles goes shopping....hilarity ensues.....well at least funny ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf or the characters.....if I did, I would be dating Stiles and Vanessa would be dating Derek and we would let them have a gay love affair together.

Stiles is really happy with his new phone. Who would be unhappy about moving from his old piece of crap to the new IPhone? Sure he missed his Sony Xperia, but when he broke that with the whole Scott thing in the locker room his Dad had bought him a plain old practical blackberry. Since it turned out Derek was a trend whore and desperately wanted an IPhone for himself, Stiles was not in a position to argue that he wanted a different kind of phone. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth or anything.

He and Derek spend a lot of time texting each other when they have to be apart. Really it's him doing most of the talking and Derek posting a lot of "Stiles..." which sound like they are being said with a frustrated sigh and angry werewolf emoticons. That's not any different than how Derek is in real life, so Stiles counts it as talking. Plus every once and a while Derek throws him a bone and will actually converse. Like the other day he told Stiles that Batman was cooler than Superman because he was just a man with a mission and not a man with alien powers. Stiles figures that Batman resonates more with Derek because of the whole parents dying thing.

Stiles is at the grocery store buying stuff for both his Dad's place and Derek's. He gets all of the dry foods and frozen foods first because he likes to wander up and down the aisle. He drives Derek crazy with questions about whether he should buy werewolves whole wheat bread or white with added vitamins and whether he should get Trix or Fruit Loops. Derek just answers that bread of any sort is fine because it all goes in the same place, but is adamant he doesn't want Trix. So of course Stiles has to go there and ask why not and Derek of course types back that Trix are for kids. Stiles texts him back that he's certain that Derek doesn't like the cereal because it has a bunny on the front and the picture makes Derek feel guilty about all the Thumpers he ate the night before when he looks at the box in the morning. When Stiles gets no response back, he just takes it as his being right. In the end he buys the Fruit Loops and the Cocoa Puffs, because hungry werewolf teens and more is better.

Of course Stiles **loves** flirting with Derek on the phone Derek bought him, so he takes a photograph of the can of whip cream which he then puts in the cart and sends the photo to Derek. He does the same with the honey and the chocolate sauce he picks up. Nothing wrong with bringing sauces into the bedroom! He contemplates the marshmallow fluff before taking a photo of that as well and putting it in the cart.

Stiles knows that when he takes a shot of the extra virgin olive oil he is going a step too far, but he really couldn't help himself.

The response back from Derek is:  _Stiles I think just about everyone in Beacon Hills knows you aren't a virgin anymore. But yes, fine to all of it._  Stiles can't help grinning back down at his phone, or the fist pump in the air. Sugar and sex is the best combination ever and Derek has just agreed to massive amounts of it!

Last shopping of the night is in the fruits and veggie section. Stiles left it for last, well because you leave the best for last. Plus he figured he'd have to be a little more covert about taking photos in this section of the store. It's so much more open and crowded. With his back turned to anyone else in the section Stiles picks out a particularly fine specimen of zucchini and shoots a picture and sends it to Derek with the comment:  _So should I buy this for when I get lonely?_ He just gets back: “ _...”_  

So he takes that to mean too small. He does however put a few in the cart because they work great in spaghetti.

He moves on to the English cucumber and snaps a photo sending it off with the comment:  _I like the length?_  But moves on to the regular cucumber putting one in the cart. Unable to take a photo because just then one of his neighbours reached over to get a cucumber for herself and Stiles gets caught up answering her questions about school and his Dad before politely extracting himself and moving off to the eggplant. He knows it's totally ridiculous, but that's half the point. Finding a nice one he snaps a covert photo and sends it along with the message:  _Would this cause you to be envious?_

Since he hasn't had an answer in a while he picks out a limp droopy carrot off of the 50% off cart and snaps a shot and sends it with the message:  _Did the last photo leave you feeling like this?_  Stiles can't help but snort at his sense of humour. He was the best, seriously.

Throwing the rest of the fruit and vegetables from his shopping lists into the cart Stiles heads up to the cashier. He lines up in Vanessa's line since she is funny, likes to talk, but still is very efficient at her job. It's a slightly longer line than some of the others, but it's worth it. When Derek is there Vanessa always harmlessly flirts with him, but when it's just Stiles she always teases Stiles about what naughty sex she thinks he and Derek are having just to make him blush. It's all in good fun. Stilese pulls out his phone from his pocket and begins to play angry birds. His phone chirps to tell him he has a new message. Looking at his tweets his jaw just drops. His brain freezes entirely and he just can't contain the "Oh my gods" or stop himself from giggling. It's either giggle or lose his shit completely.  Derek had just sent him an instagram of his dick and it was nice and hard.  Stiles practically jumps out of his skin when a hand taps him from behind he had been staring at his phone so long.

"What's so funny?" Ms. McCall asks him.

"Uhhh nothing, Scott just sent me a joke." Stiles says, holding his phone close to his chest.

"Really? Scott's on his phone? I told him no phone or internet until he finished studying for chemistry. Give me that phone." She says as she grabs it from his hand. As Ms. McCall looks at the photo her face goes from being angry to being shocked.

"That's not Scott's picture! It's my boyfriend. My boyfriend that my Dad knows about!" Stiles is quick to say.

"Stiles, I think I know what my son looks like naked. I changed his diaper for years." Ms. McCall says taking another quick glance at the photo before handing the phone back to Stiles. "I think I forgot to get milk." She adds blushing a little. "And Stiles, you're a lucky man." She says before walking off into the store.

Omg, Omg, Omg is all Stiles could think over and over again. Stiles texts Scott to let him know that his mother had accidentally seen Derek's junk. By this time the line has moved and it's Stiles turn at the cash register.  He tries to quickly and calmly put his groceries on the conveyer belt so that he can get out of there as quickly as possible before Ms. McCall has a chance to come back.  Vanessa looks up from her phone, which she quickly pockets and begins to run Stiles' groceries through the scanner and bagging them. Other than saying hi to each other, they are both abnormally quiet.

Finally, after Stiles has paid for both sets of groceries Vanessa speaks up. "Uhmm Stiles...I don't want you to think I am stalking you and Derek or anything...I mean you know I think you're adorable and Derek is hot and together you're my fantasy threesome..."

"Yeah, yeah..." Stiles says with a wave of his hand. This is typical of Vanessa's flirtation, sort of. Normally she isn't so hesitant though. "You're hot for our bodies.... whatever that bitch is mine and I'm not sharing."

"Uhmmm, that's the thing. The sharing? Derek tweeted a picture I don't think he meant to? Is his instagram associated with his twitter account?" Vanessa says.

Stiles throws the groceries in the cart with one hand whilst dialing Derek on the other wondering why he is always the one that has to tell the werewolf all the bad news.  He's definately keeping a copy of that photo though....for posterity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! If you did, I would love to have comments!!
> 
> Next Chapter might be a bit because I need time to actually write it.


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